Happy Halloween and MEATLESS MONDAY!

Halloween rules over all other holidays. It stands astride a pile of cowering bunnies and leprechauns, tinsel dripping from it's fangs, one hand raised triumphantly in the air as desperate hordes of slutty nurses and slutty school girls and slutty fairies and slutty bumblebees beg for attention.  You know you want it :) 

Halloween falls on Meatless Monday this year and this video gives you the what, the why and the how.  Watch it and then go stuff your face with candy, play tricks on people, scare the crap out of some kids and make your slutty outer self match your slutty inner self!

I've been doing important things...

...as far as you know!

The end of summer was crazy and it's only getting worse with no signs of slowing down until 2012! Hopefully you have been better about incorporating veggie-based meals into your life than I have about sharing recipes for them.


I haven't tried out any new recipes lately, but it just so happens that October is VEGAN MOFO!  That's vegan month of food, and it rocks!  A whole huge list of vegan bloggers dedicate themselves to posting new recipes every single day for the month of October. The mofo site features a weekly roundup of some of the great recipes that have been posted, and on the right side of the site is a link to the entire list of participating bloggers.  Check out the Facebook page and like it :) I will like you if you do!  There are some amazing looking entries already, and if they don't inspire you to try out some vegan cooking, nothing will.


Speaking of things you need to buy for me, (we weren't but we should have been) check out the site Brandee found... Arm the Animals. I'm a small. Text me for my mailing address and thank you in advance!

Slacker!

Holy crap, two months and no posts!  Needless to say, summer has been very busy but not to worry, the vegan food has still been divine.

I started making my own pickles after reading an article in Veg News that made it sound too simple and delicious to be good. Turns out it was!  My family has been consuming them at an alarming rate :)  The recipe makes two big jars and I usually double it. I'll share the recipe after  we return from Burning Man, but essentially you just slice picking cucumbers and put them in jars, add garlic, dill and some spices, then boil a mixture of water, vinegar, salt and sugar and then pour into the jars.  Let them sit in the fridge for two days and then EAT!  I just made a batch of Indian pickled cauliflower, too. Pull my finger.

I've been making raw cashew cheese too...SO GOOD.  Simply throw raw cashews, lemon juice, garlic, water and salt into a food processor. It's great on everything, especially homemade pickles :)

Brad and I bought a Seal-A-Meal so we can take some pre-made meals to the playa. I feel like such a tool now...I can almost hear Ron Popeil shouting at me while I'm sealing my food.  I'll let you know how our food fares. We made veggie burgers, Brad's noodle meal, baked tofu and some freaking delicious Field Roast Smoked Apple Sage sausages! Hopefully we wait until we get to the playa to eat them.  Oh, we'll also be making vegan ice cream in my Play and Freeze ice cream maker!

See you post burn, suckas!!  xoxox

SPEED POST!!

I've been busy making hula hoops and drinking shots with Ashley so I have severely neglected this blog! Thankfully Kristin passed along a yummy sounding recipe...make it and tell me how much you loved it please :)

Oh and I didn't have any pictures of this dish, so you get a pic of Chili Peppers stuffed into helmets.

Super fast, healthy KICK ASS stuffed peppers

Oven at 375*
2 pkgs Uncle Ben's Ready Rice (spanish flavor)1 can black beans
6 peppers, preferably red :)
1 yellow pepper
3 green onions
3 tomatoes
1 elephant garlic clove
1/4 c cilantro
vegan cheese


Cut red peppers in half (length wise) and de-seed them, pile on a plate, cover with 3 wet paper towels and microwave for 3 min. Cook rice per directions, throw in a large bowl. Drain black beans and add to rice.Crush garlic clove into rice, chop yellow pepper, tomatoes, cilantro and green onions and add to mixture. Mix and stuff in halved red peppers, place in glass baking dish and cover lightly with cheese.
Bake for 20 min. EAT

Why yes, peanut sauce does go on EVERYTHING!

I love peanut sauce, minus the fish sauce (FYI, I love everything minus the fish sauce. I also hate people that use “FYI” so I’m compelled to use it to hurt myself…) so I decided to make my own and I’m kicking myself for not making it sooner!  I love this recipe. It’s perfect as a dip for veggies, tofu, spring rolls, salad rolls, works great on wraps, and of course it's amazing as a salad dressing!

I threw together a kind of sad salad last night (we need to go shopping) of Napa cabbage, spinach, cucumber, broccoli, snap peas and red bell peppers, tossed on some peanut sauce and called it dinner!

Peanut Sauce

4 T peanut oil

3 cloves garlic, crushed

1 T fresh ginger, minced

2 C vegetable broth

¾ C peanut butter (I use Adams chunky!)

2/3 C rice wine vinegar

1 T chili flakes

3 T agave syrup

3 T soy sauce

Squirt of Sriracha sauce

Juice from 2 limes

Heat peanut oil over medium heat in a saucepan. Add garlic and ginger and cook for about 3 minutes, being careful not to brown the garlic.  Add the remaining ingredients with the exception of the lime juice, and whisk until well combined. Reduce heat to medium high and let cook for about 8 minutes. Remove from heat and add lime juice.  It will thicken as it cooks and it will thicken even more as it cools!

Protein Sex Salad*

*results not guaranteed.

Kristin claims to have made a salad that will induce orgasm!  I'm certainly intrigued but I haven't have time to make it yet!!  You single kids, get to cooking and let me know  ;)

I'm a huge fan of Google image.  My "Sex Salad" search returned some fabulous images, but this was the very sexiest and saladiest!!

No need to thank me. The mental image of all my friends eating vegan salad and writhing in ecstasy while trying to picture anything BUT Richard Simmons nude in veggies...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh more than thanks enough.


Protein Sex Salad
1 cup brown rice
1 can black beans
2 Quorn chik'n cutlets chopped (I will sub a vegan brand, probably Gardein)
Yumm sauce
huge squirt of cock sauce

Mix all up and dump over a bunch of wild greens.
Die happy!

Yuck.

I heard an interesting comment a while back, "If you're more afraid of al-Qaida than heart disease, you're not paying attention."  No kidding. Check this out...borrowed from Happy Herbivore's blog.  You might not be a fat, gluttonous pile of shit, but odds are you know a LOT of them and they're starting younger all the time.

Let them eat rum cake!

RUM CAKES!!!!  Yum!!  I took a pansy-ass recipe and made it more potent, because no one wants to waste time and calories on a rum cake only to find that you are still able to drive or say the alphabet!

First, make your favorite vanilla cake recipe.  I use the one from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World and you can find it here.  I double the recipe and I use about 14 of the cupcakes for rum cakes and leave the rest for the kids.  They need something to eat while Mom passes out with rum glaze running down her cheek.  Arrange the cupcakes in two shallow cake or pie pans, about six or seven per pan. Poke about five holes in each one and then pour your slightly-cooled rum glaze over the top (half in each pan).

Rum Glaze

1-1/2 cups dark rum (I use Sailor Jerry’s)

1-1/4 cups granulated sugar

1 Tablespoon vanilla extract

¼ cup margarine (Earth Balance)

In a small saucepan, bring rum and sugar to a simmer over medium heat.  Simmer for one minute, reduce the heat to low and stir for another two minutes. Remove from heat and add remaining ingredients.

When they are all the way cool, top with some buttercream frosting:

Vegan (No) Buttercream

½ cup of nonhydrogenated shortening

½ cup of vegan margarine (Earth Balance)

3-1/2 cups of powdered sugar

1-1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

¼ cup of non-dairy milk of choice

Beat the shortening and margarine until fluffy. Add the sugar and beat three more minutes. Add the vanilla and soy  milk and beat another five minutes, until fluffy and pretty!

I made these for Kristin and Coral and Jonathan's birthday. Kristin provided the following pics and story:

"Just FYI.... I ate 1/2 of my cup cake and left the rest till I said hi to everybody.  Next thing I know, all the cup cakes are gone and Brad was licking his fingers."

Enjoy!

Food Fight!!!!

As the veg lifestyle increases in popularity, so do the food options.  When I gave up meat in high school, I was still eating Mom food and felt no pain (she was a granola girl in the 70’s and made us a lot of stuff that was already vegetarian).  In college I was dirt fucking poor and lived off of cheap and healthy things like falafel and veggie sandwiches!  I relied very little on processed foods because there just wasn’t much for vegetarians.  But NOW, oh man…it’s a vegan junk food paradise out there. Pizzas, candy bars, ice cream, chips, dips, cheesy stuff.  Fred Meyer has an increasingly good selection of vegan items, and of course Whole Foods and stores of that sort carry a wide array, but my favorite store is Food Fight.  It’s an ALL vegan grocery store in Portland and it is huge fun to shop there. I don’t HAVE to read every label, which is so very very nice.  I also love supporting a store that promotes my ideals.  We are firm believers in voting with your dollars.  It’s part of a vegan mini-mall located at SE Stark and 12th, so after you shop at Food Fight you can go the amazing Sweetpea Baking Company for some lunch and a treat ( I recommend The Higgins sandwich!), Herbivore Clothing for something cool to wear (buy me the Hail Seitan shirt and I will love you forever!) and get a tattoo at Scapegoat Tattoo Co., an all-vegan tattoo shop!

I have been trying super hard to eat well (Summerween is coming, you know...) and Food Fight has been torturing me with emails about new products like peanut butter cups and caramels.  Grrrrr.  If you make the trip to Food Fight, here are some items I ALWAYS pick up:

Butler Soy Curls:  Ugly little dried bits...you soak them in water, they plump up into meaty little strips that you can saute with spices and sauces to achieve any flavor you desire!

Nacho Mom's Vegan Queso:  This cheezy dip is amazingly good!  The ingredients are simple and natural and I think the entire jar is like 170 calories, so even if you "pigged" out and ate the whole thing, you're still way ahead of the cholesterol-filled dairy game.

Cafe Yumm's Yumm Sauce:  We get the chipotle. It's too good for words.  Great on sandwiches, as a dip, straight out of the jar :)  

WayFare We Can't Say It's Cheese Spreads:  They are all great but the Hickory Cheddar is our favorite.  It makes an excellent grilled cheese and it's made from nuts!  Again, big F.U. to artery-clogging dairy.

Tofurky Pizzas: Like the crappy frozen pizzas you loved as a child, but cruelty-free.  We usually some pineapple to the top of these and play some video games and drink sodas, whoooo!

Cowgirl Steaks from Viana:  These are just...made of magic, I don't know. We fry these up and eat them straight with gravy (that reminds me, you all need my recipe for Madeira wine gravy!) and potatoes and veggies, or on a roll as a sandwich.  

I find it hard to get over to Food Fight as often as I like, but I have found that I can order online (except the frozen and cold foods)  and I get my package the next business day for just about $5 in shipping!  Not bad when I need a Soy Curl and peanut butter cup fix :)

Pocket food for your belly!

I tried out the (obviously non-meat) Meat Pies from Weekly Vegan Menu.  I love this blog...everything turns out well and they are a family, so the recipes get kid tested!

The meat pies are fun little parsley biscuit wrapped pockets of yum!  They were a bit heavy on the dough for Brad and me, BUT the kids enjoyed them and it's always good to have a healthy little pocket meal that they can grab and cram in their face!  I added a little more salt and seasoning to the filling than they did, and I used Gimme Lean instead of Boca burger, but I'm sure any meat-ish substitute you like would work, or even just extra veggies.

In a non-meat pie related note...one of our vendors at work is super sweet and knows I'm vegan, so instead of bringing greasy doughnuts, he brings us Saint Cupcake cupcakes.  They always have a couple of vegan options, though they NEVER get creative with the vegan ones.  (If you are Saint Cupcake and you are reading this, I'm getting a little pissed off about only having chocolate and vanilla to choose from.)  My kids will eat anything with sugar in it (or just sugar...cut out the middle man), but NONE of them will eat the regular cupcakes from Saint Cupcake. They say the frosting makes their mouth feel gross.  I have to agree, I never liked their frosting much when I was vegetarian.  The vegan frosting however is friggin' awesome.  I highly recommend trying the vegan version if  you go!  You'll only have a couple of flavors to choose from, but on the bright side, it makes deciding which one to get so much easier.

What's creamy and golden and disappearing rapidly?!

I finally decided to serve something more creative than burritos last night and I made not one but TWO new recipes!!

First, the Cashew Cream Sauce with Sun Dried Tomatoes from Our Veggie Kitchen blog.  The sauce looks deliciously creamy and thick in their photo, but mine was SUPER watery. I don’t know if they really intended to say “add 3 cups of boiling water”, but the next time I make this I will cut it down to probably 1-1/2 cups of water.  By the time you add the can of un-drained tomatoes, it’s just way too much liquid.  To compensate, I added twice the indicated amounts of lemon juice, seasoning, and sun dried tomatoes.  It did turn out well…the kids loved it but it was a wee bland for Brad.  I think it will be a lot more flavorful when I make it with less water.

I also made the Crispy Golden Tofu from Vegan Dad’s blog and THAT was amazing!!!!!!!!  The last time I was dragged to Winco, I stocked up on some really firm tofu and froze it.  It is not remotely wobbly (because I hate wobbly foods. If it resembles jell-o or pudding, I will spit it back at you.), and it had an excellent, chewy texture after freezing and thawing it.  The mustard and hot sauce made for a super good flavor and I dipped it in some raspberry chipotle sauce!  I made them last night (and even my tofu-hater daughter ate some), but this pic is my mid-morning snack, so it’s not looking terribly photogenic anymore.  My carrot is hot though, eh?!  I’ll be making this again, but not TOO often because even healthy foods will stick to your fat ass when fried.

Weeping tiger, hidden bakery

I’ve been sick and busy so I haven’t cooked much lately.  Brad made his super delicious Noodle Meal on Monday night and he and I ate it ALL.  I’m more of a naked food person, so he’s the sauce master in our house.  I call him in to sauce our veggie burgers and noodles, etc.  I’ll have him share his Noodle Meal recipe and its million variations soon!

In keeping with my “no cooking” theme, we went out for lunch on Sunday to Bye and Bye on Alberta, an all vegan bar.  The food menu is limited but everything I’ve tried has been excellent!  Brad had the BBQ platter; it comes with yummy BBQ tofu, black-eyed peas, collard greens and a delicious, crispy toasted baguette.  He has had and enjoyed the Weeping Tiger sandwich before, but it is REALLY really spicy.  You think you’re more bad ass than a tiger, fool?!  I had the Meatball Sub and it was so good, I only intended to eat half and save half like a proper dainty girl.  I then picked at my “saving” half until it too was gone. I didn’t feel so dainty but I was pretty full and happy with myself.  My favorite thing about the sub…they used a delicious almond-oat cheese spread on the baguette and it was PERFECT. I’m not a huge fan of vegan cheeses that try and replicate actual cheese. They tend to have a texture that I can’t handle. The almond-oat cheese tasted perfect and didn’t make me gag once!

But let’s cut to the chase…the drinks are YUMMY, especially the Bye and Bye. It has peach infused vodka and bourbon, cranberry juice, and lemon. You can care for your bladder while you destroy your liver!  I took a picture of it to make Kristin thirsty. Now I torture you, too.

Back to Eden, the vegan bakery, is not walking distance from Bye and Bye. Or not on a yucky April day, anyway.  We drove up there (you have to keep your eyes peeled if you’re driving, it’s tiny and easy to miss) and I bounced around in front of the counter while the nice man made me a dish of chocolate soft-serve with caramel sauce and Dandies marshmallows, YUM!  Brad had a peanut butter shake and no one ended up wearing it so it must have been good!

Alberta, I love you and I will be back…and not only when I’m sick and lazy.

It's Greek to me!

I've been super busy this week...probably no more than normal but suddenly I feel the gravity of the earth more than usual.  Thankfully, my good friend Jenn (all-around cool chick AND and Electric 6 fan, yes!) sent me a recipe she veganized!  Hooray for guest posts!  Thank you, Jenn!  (disclaimer: I haven't tried this yet so if it sucks, I'll give you her home phone number...)

Vegan Souvlaki with Tzatziki Sauce


For the Tzatziki (I like to make this first and let it sit in the fridge for a bit)

2 cups non-dairy yogurt - I do not know if a non-dairy Greek yogurt exists. If not, go with whatever you like. And if there is none thick enough, try mixing 1 cup non dairy yogurt with 1 cup non dairy sour cream. I’ve done this mix with the dairy and it works quite well.

Add:

One cucumber, seeded and grated. be sure to squeeze out the excess water.
Juice of one lemon
1 Tbsp olive oil
about a Tbsp of mint - dry mint is fine.
One or two large cloves of garlic, chopped and mashed to a paste.
Add dash of pepper, mix till blended, refrigerate.

For the Souvlaki:

1 pound seitan, sliced in strips or half chunks. (I have not tried this with tofu yet, but I'm sure extra firm would work well)

Throw the sliced seitan in a bowl and add some olive oil and a splash of red or white wine vinegar.  Then, in another bowl, mix the following seasonings:

1 Tbsp coriander
1 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp allspice
1/4 tsp ground pepper
1/4 tsp ground ginger
1/4 tsp garlic powder (optional, but I like it)
1/4 tsp onion powder (optional, again)
Salt to taste

Add the spice mix to the seitan and mix till coated. Then brown in a pan on med to med high heat.

While that seitan is cooking, slice up some tomatoes, red onions and whatever lettuce you like – I prefer spring greens. Then heat up some pita, or whatever vegan flatbread you like.  When everything is cooked and ready, you can wrap it all up in the pita like a gyro.

Easy like Sunday morning.

Tofu can be horrifying for sure, but you can’t tell me you walk down the meat aisle at the store going, “Mmmmmmmmmmmmm this shit looks tasty!!!” It’s all about selecting the proper product for you needs and preparing it properly.

For my tofu scramble, I like the extra firm tofu that comes floating in its own little water bath!  A lot of recipes call for pressing your tofu; it’s time consuming but it does help!  And if you’re really serious you can pick up a tofu press!  (Dear Santa, Tam Tam doesn’t one but she’s been very good  trying hard and needs one)   

I found that freezing and then thawing tofu gives it a really good texture…more chewy and less slimy!

Scramble time!

Ingredients
1 lb. extra firm tofu (pat with a towel to get it dry-ish)
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 medium chopped white onion (about a cup)
2 cups mushrooms, thinly sliced
2-3 cloves garlic, crushed
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
juice of 1/2 a lemon
Spice Blend
2 teaspoons cumin
1 teaspoon thyme
1 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon tumeric
1 teaspoon salt

-Heat oil in skillet over medium heat, saute onions 3 minutes, until softened and add mushrooms. Saute 5 minutes more, add garlic, saute 2 minutes more. Add spice blend and mix it up for 15 seconds. Add 1/4 cup water and deglaze the pan, scraping the bottom.
-Crumble in tofu and mix well. Don’t crush the tofu, you want it to remain chunky. Let cook for about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally and adding splashes of water if necessary to keep it from sticking. Add lemon juice and add nutritional yeast and mix it up. If it seems too dry add splashes of water. The moistness really depends on how much water the tofu was retaining before you added it.
I top with fresh tomato, salsa, vegan sour cream, avocado slices and serve with toast!

I will not be mocked!!

It’s hard work ruining people, and most days I’m just too tired to whip up a seven-course gourmet dinner for the family, so we rely heavily on sandwiches!  I had some Turtle Island tempeh with a recipe for mock tuna salad and it sounded awful so I figured…why not!!  I whipped up a batch and set my expectations very very low. The first time I had tempeh I was NOT a fan of the texture. 

The tempeh temptress won me over. This stuff is freaking GOOD.  Brad loved it, the kids loved it.  The dog never even got any of it (that’s the real test).  It’s excellent in sandwich form but also super yum atop a salad.

I changed the recipe slightly because I don’t eat fish so I don’t happen to have Old Bay Seasoning lying around. I subbed Greek Seasoning (made with real Greeks, don’t bend over in front of it.)

Mock Tuna Salad

3 cups water

1 Tbsp. salt

8 oz. Organic Five Grain Tempeh

1 tsp. Greek Seasoning

½ cup chopped celery

¼ cup chopped onion

Juice from ½ lemon

1 tsp. dried dill weed

¼ cup vegan mayo

1-1/2 tsp. Dijon mustard

1 Tbsp. soy sauce

½ tsp. garlic powder

Boil the water in a small pan, add the salt and tempeh cake, reduce head to medium and let simmer 20 minutes.  Drain water, sprinkle the tempeh with Greek Seasoning and let cool, then break into small pieces with a fork (I use my hands because I’m a dirtball.)  Add celery, onion, dill and lemon juice to tempeh and mix. I usually sub dill pickle for the celery and omit dill weed…but don’t add ½ cup of pickles unless you’re pregnant.  In a small bowl, whisk remaining ingredients and add to tempeh. Mix well and feed your face.

Eat…enjoy…view tempeh anew!

xoxo

Hi, my name is Tammy...

...and I'm a chocoholic.

Last night I made brownies, "for the kids". I'm not sure what I'll do when they're all out of the house.  I may need to borrow some younger kids!  These are sooo good and gooey and if loving them is wrong, I don't want to be right. Or wear pants that button. I've been promising this recipe to Kimberly, so enjoy!!!  Its from Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar by Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero and its one of my favorite cookbooks. I'm adding a pic I took of one I was saving for my step-dad.  Was. It's not my fault he's late...

Deluxe Cocoa Brownies

3 ounces silken tofu

¼ cup nondairy milk

½ cup canola oil

1 cup sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla

1 cup flour

½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1 tablespoon cornstarch

½ teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon salt

1. preheat oven to 325.  Line an 8x8 pan with parchment paper so the bottom and sides are covered.
2. puree the tofu, nondairy milk and oil in a blender or food processor until smooth and fluffy; transfer to a mixing bowl. Add the sugar and mix vigorously with a fork. Add the vanilla.
3. Sift in the flour, cocoa powder (I used the Dutch-processed stuff, really good!), cornstarch, baking powder and salt. Mix until smooth. At the point I usually throw in about half a package of semi-sweet chocolate chips, vegan of course J
4. Spread the batter in your pan. You have to kind of push it to the edges with your spatula.
5. Bake 30-32 minutes…I usually do 32. Let them cool for quite a while.  They are VERY gooey until they have cooled quite a bit.

And for Kristin!!!  I've been promising her the recipe for the Cookies and Cream Cupcakes from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World, also by the super-talented Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero.

Cookies and Cream Cupcakes!

Cupcakes:

1 cup nondairy milk

1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar

¾ cup sugar

1/3 cup canola oil

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

½ teaspoon almond, chocolate or more vanilla extract

1 cup flour

1/3 cup Dutch-processed cocoa

¾ teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon baking powder

¼ teaspoon salt

1 cup (about 10 cookies) crumbled chocolate sandwich cookies

1. preheat oven to 350 and line muffin pan with papers.
2. Whisk together soy milk and vinegar; set aside for a few minutes to curdle.
3. Add the sugar, oil, and vanilla extract to the soy milk mixture and beat til foamy.
4. In a separate bowl, sift together dry ingredients.  Add in two batches to wet ingredients and beat until no large lumps remain.
5. Add cookies to the batter and pour into muffin pan. Bake 18-20 minutes.

Cookies and Cream Frosting

½ cup non-hydrogenated shortening

½ cup non-hydrogenated margarine (EarthBalance is the BEST)

3-1/2 cups confectioners sugar, sifted

1-1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

¼ cup plain nondairy milk

1/5 cup chocolate sandwich cookie, crushed

1. Beat shortening and margarine until fluffy. Add sugar and beat for three more minutes. Add vanilla and soy milk and beat another 5 to 7 minutes. Stir in cookies!

Bad dog, good salad

Another good reason not to eat meat: dead things fucking stink. 

My adorable little asshole of a dog made a break for it last night while my son was taking out the garbage. I came home an hour later to find her on the porch, eyes all glazed over and staggering around like a drunk on a bender.  Correction…she actually was a drunk on a bender. A fish gut bender!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  As she accompanied us into the house, my daughter started screaming about the dog’s smell and took off running. I figured she was just being dramatic, but the dog did appear a little moist.  Yeah. Moist.  More like absolutely dripping with entrails.  I bathed her back to her normal smell, but the shame will never ever wash off. At least I’d like to think so. She still looks pretty pleased with herself.

Who wants to eat now? Ha!!  I went on a small cooking spree on Sunday and made stuff we could eat throughout the week…another pot of lentil soup and some mini veggie quiches.  I had some firm tofu in the freezer (got it on sale at Whole Foods and froze it for a rainy day!  It has a really good texture if you freeze and thaw it!) so I marinated it using the Asian-Style Salad Bowl recipe from one of my new cookbooks, American Vegan Kitchen by Tamasin Noyes, and let it sit overnight in the fridge.

An Asian salad bowl is not the kind of thing Brad would normally love, but he had a soccer game that was going to prevent him from eating dinner with the family on Monday night so I figured it if he really didn’t like it, he could eat soup. 

I sautéed the tofu in sesame oil until it was nice and crispy.  The salad called for romaine lettuce (no dice, I was out so I subbed spinach. More improv. You don’t even want to know what happens when I’m out of toilet paper.), Chinese cabbage, carrots, bean sprouts, green onions, cucumber, red peppers, broccoli and snow peas. You make a dressing with the remainder of the tofu marinade and add fresh lime juice and peanut butter. I also added some agave syrup because I like my peanut sauce a little on the sweet side.

 

Brad LOVED the salad (He likes it, hey Mikey!) and so did I…crunchy and filling, awesome flavors.  I can’t wait to make something else from her cookbook!  Check out Tamasin's blog, Vegan Appetite.  Lots of good recipes there as well!  

I'm off to dis my dog!

More veggies, less you!

Have you picked up a ten-pound weight recently?  Its heavy. Not workout heavy, but imagine how much fat it would take to equal that ten pounds.  Now find a good inconspicuous place on your body to stash it. Yeah, good luck.  Its not going to blend in and its going to make everything you do feel harder, in addition to aging you.  (Fortunately, clothing is becoming more tent-like each year so there is hope if you’re fond of that weight.)

Brad and I picked up a few (ahem) extra pounds over the holidays and during the shitstorm that was January, so we’re committing to a four week diet and exercise program that will hopefully get our asses back on track. It had better, because we’ve given up drinking during the week and I did a leg workout on Tuesday that has rendered me incapable of walking. (Call me if you can take a shift and carry me around!)

We don’t really do a serious calorie-cutting diet, but we do try to focus on less fat and more fresh veggies and NO snacking after dinner.  We generally eat by 6 pm, so that one can be a bit painful.  And of course no booze during the week. Oy, that one hurts.  Alcohol makes us so much cuter and funnier. Well, at least it does for me. Right Brad?!!!  (Too Cute To Kill, my autobiography…watch for it!)

Soups are excellent when you’re trying to lose weight.  They make you feel nice and full and they CAN be packed with lots of nutrition.  I said “can" be.  Don’t be a dumbass and eat cream of lard soup and expect to get thin.

I recently got my fresh new copy of Isa Chandra Moskowitz's Appetite For Reduction and made the Lotsa Veggies Lentil Soup.  SO good.  Every single one of our kids ate it, which is a rare and beautiful thing because I hate having to smack them at the dinner table.  Just kidding…I’m fine with smacking them anywhere.  (Fun fact:  Lentils have the highest protein content of any plant-based food!  Awesome!)  I made a double batch and sadly, its gone already.

I did take a pic of my soup but it looked like someone had already eaten it and then shot it back out…from either end, really.  So in the interest of preserving your appetite I will not post my photo.  I also won’t post the recipe because cookbook sales are how Isa and other fine vegan chefs make a living.  I did find that one person posted it. Tsk. Seriously though, Isa’s cookbooks are all amazing…I own four and I won’t stop until they’re all mine!  Go invest in her cookbook, expand your horizons and slim your fat ass. Its so much cheaper and easier than buying a new tent to wear.

Beer and pitas... WIN!

Brad and I are BIG beer fans (and consequently big gym fans. Also Big Jim fans. He is cool!)  Good beer, none of that watery crap or anything with an animal on the can.  Better yet, make that NO can.  Even and especially Pabst. Its not cute, cut it out already.  You can’t have good beer without good food, so we look for places that offer both.  Bonus:  hipster douchebags generally don’t like these places!  McMenamins brewpubs are the obvious choice for microbrew in the Portland area, and they’re good for sure, but we have found a couple of smaller places that are as good, if not better. 

We love the New Old Lompoc on NW 23^rd (happy hour ALL day on Saturday! Their website doesn’t say so, but the little cards on the table do.).  The beer rocks and the menu is limited but good…perfect fries and I usually get the portobello mushroom burger and have them sub hummus for the aioli and cheese.  They have a partially covered patio that is so perfect when its nice out.  We have literally spent entire days there.

One of our favorite discoveries is Mashtun Brew Pub, hidden down a side street off of Alberta.  They have a great beer selection (you can see the big vats just cooking away behind the bar!), really friendly staff and the bathroom walls are covered in chalk boards, just waiting for your beery masterpiece.  Their menu has some excellent vegan offerings, including homemade tempeh bacon and Veganaise for the burgers and sandwiches!  (Bless you, Mashtun, because they don’t offer that stuff in little packets or I’d cram my purse full.) 

It was at Mashtun that we discovered pita pizzas…friggin brilliant!  No need to make or buy pizza crust. Just buy a pack of pita bread, assemble your toppings and you’re in business!

We missed out on Vegan Pizza Day last Saturday, so we made up for it on Monday.  Everyone got to build their own little pizza and for toppings I offered:  red sauce, sautéed mushrooms, soy curls, red peppers, onions, tomatoes, avocado, pineapple, mushrooms, olives, Yves veggie pepperoni, pepperoncini slices and jalapenos!  We do have vegan cheese, but I have found that I don’t miss cheese and I prefer my pizza with sauce and veggies.  Just top your pita and bake at 400 for about 10 minutes. If you do put cheese on yours, you may want to broil it a bit at the end to crisp it up.  Also, put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it ten times.

If you’re out drinking delicious beer (call me!) and need a little something to sop it up (pussy!), here is a fairly comprehensive list of where to enjoy vegan pizza around Portland:

http://veganpizzaday.com/pizzerias/OR/Portland/

(Note: If you’re in Eugene, kindly stop in and make sweet, sweet love to the Greek Pizza at Pizza Research Institute for me.  The best pizza I’ve ever had anywhere ever.  I dream about making it official and marrying it, I love it so very much.)

When you don’t see vegan pizza on the menu, you can spit on the floor and leave OR just do what I do and order it with tons of veggies and no cheese.  (THEN spit on the floor and leave.)  If you have some pizza left over, you are a quitter. Hang your head in shame and then wrap your leftovers in a napkin and stash them in your purse, or your girl’s purse.  Later, when you’re leaving, say Kennedy School, and everyone else is suffering from the micro-brew munchies, you can whip out your leftover pizza and chow down.  Don’t mind the stares, they are just jealous. Or baffled. But probably jealous. Cheryl?

Hail seitan!

Oh Satan, I will always always love you dearly, but I must confess that I now worship an even higher (lower?) power…seitan (pronounced say-tan)!  It adheres to my “cheap and easy, yet delicious” standards and it fills my mouth with such happiness, I wish I had known about it sooner!  There are a ton of different recipes for seitan and they have slightly different textures and seasoning, depending on how you’re going to use it. Basically its meaty-textured stuff (referred to as “wheat meat”) made from what gluten flour that readily absorbs whatever flavor you bestow upon it.  You can easily substitute it anywhere you would use meat in a recipe.  In other words, use seitan and never worry about finding another vein or asshole in your food again!

Our Vegan Kitchen blog’s Chicken-y Seitan Cutlets are amazingly good and versatile.  The seitan is fairly dense but still moist and it has a great flavor.  I’ve sliced it into strips and breaded and fried it, added it to stir fry, sautéed it and served it over salad.  It even freezes well!  And when all the seitan is gone, you sit in the corner and cry and wish for more. But when you’re done being a fat baby, you can take the leftover broth and make a kickass gravy!

Note: The first several times I made this recipe, I spent lots of time kneading the dough like a chump. Then I spotted my Kitchen Aid mixer mocking me and I realized that fucker has a dough hook for JUST this sort of thing!  Do save yourself some time and arm pain and let the mixer do the work if you have one.

We are huge sandwich fans in our house and I have decided this is my very favorite way to pay homage to our seitan:

Unholy Seitan Sandwiches (or seitanwiches?)

3 chicken-y seitan cutlets

4 sandwich rolls, toasted

4-5 cups of veggies (peppers, onions, mushrooms)

Maple syrup

Bragg’s liquid aminos

Veganaise

Vegan cheese, pickles, etc.

Heat two large pans on medium heat and add a little oil in each.  Slice the veggies fairly thin and throw them in one pan.  Slice the seitan cutlets, about 1/8” thick and add them to the other pan.

The seitan is already fairly flavorful so I don’t add any additional seasoning or sauce, but feel free to experiment!  I would avoid adding salt, though.  Remove from heat when they get nicely browned.

When the veggies are good and floppy, add a little real maple syrup…probably a tablespoon.  It may sound odd, but the touch of sweetness gives the sautéed veggies a great flavor. I also add about a tablespoon or two of Bragg’s liquid aminos at this point.  Its similar in flavor to soy sauce, so you can sub that if you wish or just add a little salt.  Cook for another minute or two and remove the veggies from heat.

Prepare to assemble your sandwich and be converted to the dark side:  Add mayo to your toasted bun, or any other condiment you like.  Top with a layer of the seitan and then a layer of the veggies.  Add cheese, pickles, hot sauce, avacado (yes, Brad… I CAN eat avocado with EVERY meal!), whatever makes your mouth party happen!

You’ll want a second one so don’t bother serving a side-dish and do wear stretchy pants!!

If you’d like even more unholy inspiration, Jenn of Veganize It Don’t Criticize It has the most amazing recipes on her blog and she has a cookbook out!  She is hilarious and I genuinely LOL ever time I read her blog…she also has an entire section of seitan recipes…so get on your knees, bitches!  Its time to praise…

Veggie Zaps, KaPOW!

The first meal Brad ever made for me was his very own creation, Veggie Zaps!  They were delicious and fulfilled many of my requirements for the perfect meal:  1) easy, 2) potentially but not necessarily sloppy and 3) made by someone else.  I was so happy and smitten because the fastest way to my heart is with new shoes, but the second fastest is food

And BONUS, they'll give you guns like this:

OK that's probably not true.  But if you make them for your girl, she'll look at you like this:

I hate following recipes, and Veggie Zaps don't really require adherence to one, so just start with the basics and get creative!

-Veggie burgers of choice
-Veggie bacon
-Sauce (BBQ, teriyaki, etc.)
-Cheese or cheesy substance
-Veggies
-Buns or tortillas

Place a good-sized pan on medium heat, add a little oil and throw in your veggie burgers. If you are adding mushrooms or onions, you can add them at the same time.  Brown them on each side and then turn the heat down to low.

Now, you can get saucy with your bad self!  I usually let Brad handle the saucing (he he) because I still can't get the "don't drown your food" guy out of my head.  We usually do a teriyaki/BBQ sauce combo and if you go that route, I suggest throwing some in pineapple slices and you can add a little of the juice as well!  Add your veggie bacon and cheese (optional of course) and cover the pan. Let it do its thing and cook slowly for at least 20 minutes.

Assembling the Zap!  We prefer whole wheat tortillas...or you can go open-faced if you're limiting carbs. Add some mayo or Veganaise, add the veggie burger (we usually break it into smaller chunks or cut it into strips to accommodate the wrap shape), some cheese, pineapple, veggie bacon and any additional veggies or pickles you want to add.

Wrap that sucker up, shove it in your face and prepare to be adored!!!  And try and ignore this guy for at least one saucy meal:

Cheap and easy...

...but enough about me.

I love to cook but I rarely have a nice chunk of quality alone time to spend in the kitchen getting creative with my veggies (heh!), so we keep stuff on hand that's easy to prepare.  Fortunately our favorite meals are also relatively simple to whip together.  Baked potato night, Mexican night, Vegan Dagwood sandwich-so-good-it'll-make-you-cry night, spaghetti night, and the ever popular I'm too tired to care bowl of cereal or top ramen night!

Vegan convenience foods (meat-replacement protein sources, generally) can get a little pricey, but I've found some bargains in the most bizarre place...that funky rainbow grocery place, Grocery Outlet!  Shopping there makes me feel like a kid again in that I hope no one I know will see me there...but some of the prices are amazing and its always like going on a treasure hunt!  They never have the same stuff...its an ever-changing landscape of equal parts quality and crap.

I scored BIG on my last visit!  They had some Kiss My Face products (no animal ingredients and no animal testing, plus its just a good quality skin care line), lots of Amy's frozen meals and salad dressings, Barbara's cereals (Peanut Butter Puffins are an excellent dinner cereal), and last but certainly not least TONS of Yves veggie products!  I paid less than half what I would at Fred Meyer or Whole Foods and I only had to feel slightly dirty.  The produce section is hit or miss so I did head to a regular store afterward.

One thing I always wish I had with me is a little travel soy milk for coffee emergencies and such, so I was exxxtra excited to find these sexy little things...

Purse-sized and ready for action!

xoxo or socks if you have a blackberry ;)

Diane burgers!

I’m so impressed with some of the recipes you guys have been trying!  Feel free to post them in the comments section here or on my page!  I’ll gladly give YOUR recipes a try (unless they contain raisins, you commie!).

I decided to go vegetarian in high school and finding things to eat wasn’t hard because…teenage girls generally don’t eat much.  Potlucks and buffets and dinners at the mercy of meat-eaters posed some challenge, but I was usually able to at least scrounge some cheese and bread.  Going vegan is an entirely different challenge.  The dirty bastards (you know the ones) put milk in EVERYTHING.  So now when I get a potluck dinner invite, I plan to bring everything that Brad and I will need for a meal, because its unlikely we’ll eat otherwise.  I don’t mind doing it because a) I can’t expect everyone else to know or care about my diet and b) I look at it as an opportunity to expose people to new foods.

My friend Diane hosted a potluck dinner a while ago and I can’t recall what I brought but I do know it was something lame because I was lazy…which means I should have had to subsist on carrots, but no!  Diane actually made me the most adorable little vegan black bean burgers AND she made cute little buns to serve them on!!  All homemade!  I was touched beyond belief…she literally had a house FULL of people and more than enough work to do, and she took the time to make special food for me. (There was another vegan in the house, but…I’m sure it was all for me.)  In addition to being thoughtful, the meal was also awesome.  I immediately went home and recreated the recipe...Brad loved them and he calls them Tammy Burgers, but they’ll always be Diane burgers to me! Thank you, Diane!

Black Bean Diane/Tammy Burgers

• 1/2 onion, diced
• 1 can black beans, well drained or the equivalent in freshly cooked beans
• 1/2 cup flour (whole wheat works great)
• 2 slices bread, crumbled (I use Dave’s Killer Bread, any variety)
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1 tsp onion powder
• 1/2 tsp seasoned salt
• salt and pepper to taste
• optional: I add a chipotle pepper (you can find them canned in the Hispanic foods section) to give it some heat and flavor. Try adding sundried tomatoes, roasted red peppers, anything you like!
• oil for frying

Sautee the onions until soft, about 3-5 minutes.

In a large bowl, mash the beans until almost smooth. Add the sauteed onions and the rest of the ingredients and mix well. I usually just get in there with my hands and mush it around until its well combined.
Form bean mixture into patties, approximately ½ inch thick and fry in a small amount of oil until slightly firm. Make veggie burgers and enjoy!
**We usually have them with some chipotle mayo. Throw a chipotle pepper or two into a food processor with some Vegenaise. YUM!  I also like to add a vegan cheese sauce. You can find the recipe at The Voracious Vegan…this stuff looks terrible but what it lacks in sex appeal, it makes up for in taste

Snack time!

Quickie post, lets get down and dirty!  Get out the lube and send the kids to play video games!  This is a love story about hummus and me.  Its a wonderfully easy snack and its fun and versatile…you can dip it, smear it, eat it straight of the bowl.  Its also freaking expensive, so I make my own and its the best I’ve ever had. The main problem with sharing my recipe is I never ever measure the ingredients so I have no idea how much of each item to tell you to use.  I had a tiny little food processor I would use to make this and so I had to do the hummus in about five little batches and I’d just keep adding things until it tasted right. My parents were wise and thoughtful and gave us a huge food processor for Christmas, so I’ll be able to get a better idea of the proper quantities and I’ll update in a future post for those of you that are married to your measuring cups.

The key to making the very best hummus is the chickpeas, or garbanzo beans.  I never used canned because…they taste canned!  I always start with dried beans. You will probably only be able to find them in the bulk food section.  I soak them in water overnight and then simmer them until they’re soft.  You can skip the soaking and just put them in a crock pot all day on low if you prefer!  I usually cook a huge batch of the beans and then turn half into hummus and freeze half for later. They thaw just fine.

I’ll try and estimate quantities, assuming you use about six cups of cooked beans.  Obviously feel free to do just a half or quarter of the recipe. We have four teens, so its never wasted at our house.

HUMMUS a la Tam Tam!

6 cups soaked and cooked garbanzo beans

½ cup olive oil

Juice of 3-4 lemons

1 tablespoon of liquid smoke

2 tablespoons sea salt

½ cup tahini

4 cloves garlic, crushed (optional…depending on your social calendar)

Pop all that in food processor and mix until its creamy good!  Taste it and see what you might like more or less of. I think more olive oil gives it a great texture, but if you’re trying to watch your fat, you’re stupid. Oops, I meant, just cut out some of the oil.  I usually top it with a little paprika and some pine nuts as well.

I use this as a sandwich spread, eat it on pita with fresh tomato and cucumber slices, throw it on top of  a bed of spinach with grape tomatoes in lieu of salad dressing…so versatile!  You can thank me later but don’t kiss me if you’ve included the garlic.

So tired...

This week has kicked our asses and not in a good "boot camp" sort of way.  We had a death in the family and it rocked our happy little world, but it has definitely made me appreciate everything more.  The family member that passed away was one of the most awesome women I have had the pleasure to know...she was nearly 90 and I can only hope to be like her when I grow up. She was fiercely independent and she possessed a combination of sweet and feisty that I absolutely loved, even when the feisty was directed at me.  Having been born in the 20's, weakness was a luxury she not only couldn't afford but didn't want.  She never wanted to burden anyone and she derived great happiness from watching Brad and I embark on our little adventures like Burning Man.We have a note on our fridge that she sent us, wishing us fun and safety on our "Gen-X hippie desert fest." and she noted, "don't smoke anything I wouldn't."

This may not seem to have much to do with a vegan blog, but it does. She had a great sense of her worth as a person, and she lived her life with purpose. Every action was a conscious decision to align her world with her values and desires. That approach to life is what led to Brad and I to going vegetarian...be the change you wish to see in the world.  Make conscious choices, use your head, live your life in a way you can be proud of and maybe, when you're gone, someone will want to grow up to be like you.

A new year, a new you?

I never make resolutions, mainly because my life is a perfect balance of excess and...slightly less than excessive, and I like it like that!  And my new year starts on the playa every September when The Man burns.  That is my time for reflection and appreciation of the incredibly happy life I live.  Its also a time to count the minutes until my ass touches indoor plumbing again.

If someone replaced all your clothes with smaller stuff over the holidays (I feel your pain, the bastards did it to me, too), or you just need a little cleanse you may want to try the 21-Day Vegan Kickstart created by the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine. Even if you don't want to commit to a whole 21-day cleanse, its worth checking out the site.  They have created  a meal plan for each week and you can print a grocery list.

On a side note..there are some hot freaking vegans!  I'll need to dedicate a whole post to that topic...  Natalie Portman (she's pregnant now, so helloooo boobies), Alicia Silverstone, that "look at your man, now look back at me" guy from the Old Spice commercials! Who needs a cleanse now? I'll get the loofah...

If you're wondering how Brad and I started off our 2011 diet, we had a couple of pitchers of Ruby and lots of fries!  Go team McCray!